Wednesday, September 01, 2004


Britney Spears and the Republicans do have something in common, which is that they aren’t all that good at what they’re supposed to do — singing for Spears, governing for Republicans — but terrific at the accompanying secondary functions — publicity or getting elected, winning no matter what it takes.

Spears, who also complained that indie films make you think, was famously shown in Michael Moore’s “Fahrenheit 9/11” as saying that she thinks “we should just trust our president in every decision that he makes and we should just support that.” She trusts Bush. She’s essentially come out as a Republican, and one would think that the Republicans, who are somewhat starved for A-list celebrities, would be grateful. But amid the sleazy moralizers there is tension over the vacuous trollop.

Apparently, Spears’ sweaty bosoms and glitzy dances aren’t enough, somehow, to shake an image as slutty home wrecker. The Republicans are declining to let Spears perform for them! Or they’re not. The media hasn’t quite come through with a consensus.

This is delicious no matter which way it turns out: Either Spears finds herself rejected by her party for being herself; or those big-tent Republicans let her perform, tacitly presenting themselves as the party of Madonna-kissing, masturbating pinup darlings who get married (briefly) after drunken flings in Vegas.

It’s a marriage made in heaven, for all those who believe God has a sense of humor. Britney’s third.

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