CAMBRIDGE COMMON

Ugh. New York party boy Jason Binn intends to start a magazine here called Commonwealth — emphasis on “wealth” — that, according to the Boston Herald, will “meld celebrity and A-list party scene gossip with entertainment, arts, real estate and fashion coverage ... all wrapped in a lifestyle package targeted at affluent readers.”

This is for all those grasping people who don’t get their fill of this with Stuff@Night, The Improper Bostonian and Boston magazine and, in fact, much of the Boston Herald and Boston Globe and who need what Binn calls “a true celebration of Boston and all Boston has to offer in the world of luxury.”

I’ll keep Cambridge. There, dressing up makes one feel mildly uncomfortable, a sensation that lasts until the Charles is safely past and Park Street’s exits beckon; music clubs don’t start shows at family hour and throw crowds out before 10 p.m. to make room for the next paying audience; the defining square is Harvard, not Louisburg; the defining path is Massachusetts Avenue, not Newbury Street; black is worn because it’s easy, not because it’s fashionable; a celebrity is John Malkovich, not Tom Brady; the music is Morphine, not Boston; the defining store sells books, not clothes; and wealth is subtle, not celebrated.

Even the magazine title “Commonwealth” is repulsive in this context — a complete betrayal of what a commonwealth implies, highlighting differences between haves and have-nots rather than striving to help people have wealth, of any kind, in common.

I hope the magazine dies a quick death, as all shamelessly social-climbing toadies should.

Or at least sticks to its side of the river.