CURIOSITY KILLED THE SEXUAL APPETITE

Reading through Craigslist’s casual encounters section recently — for entertainment value, not a hookup — I stumbled across this rather foreboding item:

Looking for a a M or W whose into Roman Play...if you don’t what i’m talking please don't email me...looking experienced people....
holla back

A few Google searches did nothing to illuminate me as to what “Roman Play” was, and it wasn’t until telling friends about it during dinner (and I apologize to them) that the meaning became horrifyingly clear. There seems to be only a few things that set the Romans apart in such a way they could be represented in sex play.

One is Roman noses, but the concept of nasal sex seems farfetched. Or am I just naive?

The second option was, of course, the Pax Romana, the period of Roman Peace from 27 B.C. to 180 A.D., encompassing the life of Christ, which in terms of sex I can only imagine as involving dominance and submission, but with occasional flurries of activity in isolated body parts that are soon stilled again. This also seems farfetched.

The third option: eating various absurdly exotic foods, such as otter’s tongue. Expensive and sexually devoid of interest, although much of the absurd exoticism seems to be exaggerated from actual history.

The fourth: wearing togas. Big deal.

The fifth: crucifixion. Unlikely.

The sixth: orgies. Unlikely for a different reason — that there’s no reason not to come out and say “orgy,” and seeking a single man or woman who wants to have an orgy is about as efficient as seeking a single other person who wants to form a giant human pyramid.

That leaves the seventh, staggeringly unappealing final option, which concerns vomiting.

This is almost certain to be it. But it’s almost impossible to contemplate, let alone to imagine applying on a practical basis.

If anyone has any other theories, or knowledge of the practice as suggested above, please let me know.