Friday, January 16, 2004


At one point in my employment history, a job compelled me and a colleague to create language to surreptitiously note to each other the degree of horror and despair we felt. (It was pretty much the same, day in, day out.)

I thought I’d share the code -- as far as it got -- for anyone in the same situation. Jot it down in meetings; slip it to conspirators on scraps of paper; doodle it while stuck on the phone. It’s therapeutic.

YAAFI. This variously means “You are all fucking idiots” or “You are a fucking idiot,” depending on the situation. Handy, as if you’re caught writing it by someone who knows what it means (unlikely), you can always claim the latter meaning and leave it unclear to whom you were referring. It could also be YAABI, or YAADI or what have you, if you care to spare the curse word ... but, well, come on. This is work we’re talking about.

TAVSI. That’s a very stupid idea.

YOBIAM. Yes, our boss is a moron.

MIHAJ. May I have another job?

Carry on.

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